WEST HOLLYWOOD - Noted he-men Jesse "Dick With Feet" James and Mel "From Hell" Gibson were both asked what they thought about America's Got Talent opera singing transvestite Prince Poppycock.
James said that he/she sure is pretty and one of the most feminine individuals he has ever seen including his wife Sandra Bullock, Keira Knightly, and England's Cheryl Cole.
Gibson said that when he sees Poppycock he see visions of sugar plum fairies dancing in his head and violent vampires trapezing in his underwear.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: Reports are that Mel has been drinking a little bit more than usual lately. He says that it helps to ease the pain of his sore throat which he got from yelling, screaming, and shouting like a crazed mad man at his ex-future wife Oksana Grigorieva.]
Jesse also went on to say that if he was Poppycock's boyfriend he would make her get at least a half dozen tattoos so that he could then tell her that she looks like a real woman and not like some sissified woman like his ex-wife Sandy "The Kissing Bandit" Bullock.
Gibson said that he's just thrilled to see a woman who isn't after his money like the piano playing Russian slut Oksana Grigorieva.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: Oksana is a piano player. She is Russian. But she ain't no slut. The only slut in the picture is Mel "The Crazy Aussie" Gibson, who thinks that just because he can yell louder than Oksana makes him right.]
Mel Gibson and Jesse James are planning on making a movie based loosely on their lives titled, Old Yeller & The Tattooed Feller. They hope to get Angelina Jolie to play Sandra Bullock and Calista Flockhart to portray Oksana Grigorieva.
Lindsay Lohan, Madonna, and Kate Gosselin have all asked if they can play one of Jesse's tattooted bitch skanks known as the "Cycle Cuties." All three have been turned down.
SIDENOTE: James was asked if the rumors of Sandra Bullock taking him back are true. He smiled and replied that it is looking better and better and that he just about has sweet, little, naive Sandy hoodwinked into believing that he will change.