Written by Skoob1999
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Wednesday, 4 August 2010

image for Robert Pattinson Loses Front Door Key - Txts Kristen Stewart In Desperation
Keys Release Me - Let Me Go - To The Isle of Wight?

Sensational breaking news from Hollywood! - Just when everybody was starting to believe that the Twilight franchise was just about played out, Robert Pattinson - Edward Cullen in the Twilight saga - astounded even the most hard nosed Hollywood reporters by going out to a shopping mall for bread and milk - and losing his house keys.

Insiders confided to Skoob Entertainment News that even though Pattinson had scrupulously prepared for the shopping trip, using maps, charts, GPS, and a tarot card reader, he still managed to somehow misplace the front door key to his rented Mulholland Drive residence.

A clearly embarrassed R Patz faced a wall of paparazzi upon his arrival home, and when he failed to gain access to the property, owing to lack of a key, the vampire actor busied himself by barking impatient commands into his cell phone, whilst pacing up and down like a caged chupacabra.

One freelance journalist insisted that Pattinson had called Twilight saga co-star Kristen Stewart, pleading for advice on how to handle the rapidly deteriorating situation. One eye witness swore that she heard Kristen Stewart tell Pattinson to try the back door.

At which point, a clearly agitated R Patz popped round the back, only to emerge moments later at the front door giving the assembled reporters a thumbs up sign and grinning all over his face, clearly signalling that everything was okay after all.

Sources say that Pattinson's missing keys were later returned by a pizza delivery guy.

But it all goes to show that you just can't keep Robert Pattinson out of the news - he's a man we simply can't ignore, no matter how hard we may try.

One reporter confided in us:

"This guy's life is just crazy. Like a merry-go-round or a roller coaster. He's impossible to ignore. The guy's a gold rivetted star. You know? It wouldn't surprise me in the least if he was to relocate to the Isle of Wight. Given his lost door key revelations, he could even survive in Ryde. He's truly indestructable - whatever the world throws at him, he just soaks it all up and gets on with it."

Mayor Vernon Adcock, of Ryde, Isle of Wight, commented:

"He'd be welcome here anytime - amongst all the madness that is the island in the twenty-first century. He'd fit right in."

Cheryl Cole is still 5'3" - but prefers to be called 'Tweedy' these days.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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