Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 5 August 2010

image for Justin Bieber, Selena Gomez, Demi Lovato, and Brenda Song Star in "The Teenage Hotties Vs. The Zombies of Hollywood Hills
One of the zombies that jumped in the shower with Billy Badmoon (Justin Bieber).

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - The Lighthouse Motion Picture Company in association with Cripple Creek Pictures has announced the filming of Benigno Montemarciano's latest motion picture in his "The Teenage Hotties" series.

The film entitled, The Teenage Hotties Vs. The Zombies of Hollywood Hills will star teen sensations Justin Bieber, Selena Gomez, Demi Lovato, and Brenda Song.

Montemarciano said that the film will follow the script of noted zombies author Della Bessie Felterhurtz to the letter, including the part where Brenda's character, April Vine falls off a horse, bumps her head, and amazingly starts singing every Beatles song ever written in Swahili.

Sheboygan Saddlewood, who will be the film's director, said that they are thrilled to have added teen queen Selena Gomez to the cast for the second installment.

Selena was asked why she decided to join the sequel after passing up the first movie and she replied that she was offered lots and lots of money, her own hair stylist, her own masseuse, and her own Lamborghini, which she said she gets to keep when the filming ends.

In the sequel the teens from Venice Beach High School are attending a party for Cherry Colfax (Selena) at the home of Missy Pike's (Demi's) rich uncle Stanton St. Starkhouse, a gay collector of celebrity wigs.

The house, known as The Quiet On The Set Mansion, was built in 1927, and at one time belonged to Clark Gable, Mickey Rooney, Dean Martin, and Jayne Mansfield. The $12.9 million house has quite a history of untold secretive secrets.

One of the secrets is that supposedly Mickey Rooney's acting double, the 4 foot 9 inch Tinker Traffaletti, disappeared after going into the wine cellar to get a bottle of Chardonnay for Mr. Rooney.

Another secret is that Jayne Mansfield allegedly had both of her gigantic tits fondled as she swam in the nude in the Olympic sized pool all alone at 2 in the morning. She said that she recalled having half a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon but never saw anyone in or near the pool.

Justin Bieber will star as Billy Badmoon, the son of former Pittsburgh Pirates pitcher Blasingame "Boom-Boom" Badmoon, who in the 1988 all-star game at Cincinnati's Riverfront Stadium struck out Mark McGwire, Jose Canseco, and Cal Ripken, Jr., in a row.

Bieber's character walks around with the resin bag that his dad had used during the all-star game. And for some unknown reason Billy does not know that zombies are attracted to resin.

It is not long before Billy is in the bathroom showering and two zombies walk in on him. The first zombie steals his resin bag and runs off. The second zombie actually jumps in the shower with him but does not engage in any gay play.

Lucky for Billy, Missy Pike (Demi) hears Billy screaming like a pre-teen schoolgirl and she barges in. As soon as the zombie sees her he jumps out of the shower, grabs a towel, and starts drying himself off.

Missy swings at him with a mop that she just happened to be carrying but misses him and hits Billy knocking him down in the bathtub. She then jumps in to rescue him since she thinks she has knocked him out.

Just then Cherry (Selena) walks in with her pet ostrich Homer and sees the two in the tub and just figures that they are doing the 'wild thang' in the shower and she leaves.

The movie was filmed on the studio lot of Cripple Creek Pictures as well as on location in Lima, Peru; Bombay, India, Pimlico, England; and Natchez, Mississippi.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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