Written by anthonyrosania
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Topics: Pornography

Tuesday, 3 August 2010

image for Morpheus Finds Out Daughter is Doing Porn, Decides to Take The Blue Pill
Montana Fishburne: Porn Roadkill

Actor Laurence Fishburne, the talented actor who played Morpheus in the two fantasic Matrix movies (as well as the cinematographic sh-tstain called Matrix: Reloaded) has found out that his daughter Montana has completed a hardcorn porn movie, which will soon be released internationally.

And now he wants to take the blue pill.

Montana Fishburne, who looks so much like her famous father that one's ability to achieve an erection during her movie will be seriously compromised, is reportedly very upset that her father is distraught over her decision.

Not so upset that she'd stop licking knobs for money on film, but upset nevertheless.

According to Montana, she and Morpheus have always been on good terms -- in fact, up until the whole porn thing, she claims they spoke on a weekly basis. However, Montana also tells us she never gave her dad a heads-up on the porn news.

Montana believes taking a shot to the face will further her career in Hollywood, because that scenario always plays out well.

"Think of how many people crossed over from hardcore porn to mainstream entertainment. Look at Kim Kardashian: she releases a video of her pretending to be a toilet for some rapper, and she gets cast as Ophelia in Hamlet."

She also has an opinion about her father's reaction to the video.

"Look, my dad can handle this one of two ways," says the borderline sociopath. "He can ignore it, and he'll wake up in his bed and believe whatever he wants to believe. Or, he can accept the truth, stay in Wonderland and I show him how deep the rabbit-hole goes."

Mazel-tov, Slutty McJizface.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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