Written by Stevey G.
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Topics: Big Brother

Monday, 2 August 2010

image for Convicted Serial Killer becomes latest 'housemate' on Big Brother 11
'Rose West. We are watching You!'

In a desperate attempt to improve disappointing ratings in this, the very last series of Big Brother, the latest housemate has been introduced to the house on day 54, convicted serial killer Rosemary (Rose) West.

Rose West was convicted, in 1995, of the torture and murder of at least 10 women and was sentenced to life imprisonment.

We have learned that Rose West was transferred last night, under tight security, from HMP Low Newton in Durham to the Big Brother House. The transformation from 'inmate' to 'housemate' was watched by a record number of stunned viewers.

A spokesman for Endemol, the production company responsible for Big Brother, was 'thrilled' at the initial rise in the ratings and was optimistic that they would improve still further.

'I'm sure that we'll now see a continuing improvement in the ratings', he said at a press conference earlier today.'Despite this series being the very last Big Brother, we have seen audience figures fall to an all-time low of 2.5 million on average. We hope that the introduction of Rose will add a new dynamic into the house and that viewing figures will top the 10 million mark again'.

Some critics have questioned the sanity of introducing a convicted killer into the house, particularly as it would appear at this stage that the other housemates are unaware of Rose's true identity.

Endemol have confirmed that all necessary risk assessments have been carried out to the satisfaction of the Home Office. The spokesman concluded, 'Rose will be being watched 24/7 by an audience of up to 10 million people. What could possibly go wrong?'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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