Written by IainB
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Monday, 2 August 2010

image for Russell Brand taken up the rear by Big Dick - Katy Perry Livid
Big Dick Gardener is unrepentant

Katy Perry is livid at the news that her new husband, and wild man of comedy, Russell Brand has been shunted up the rear by a lorry driver in Los Angeles.

Brand was driving Perry's £165,000 Lamborghini Moustache along the Freeway in Los Angeles when he had to stop to check that his eyebrows had not become entangled with his hair. At this point, a truck driver by the name of Big Dick Gardener rammed into the back of Brand, giving the comedian quite a shock, and another half an hours worth of material.

Brand was pushed uphill by Gardener for several yards, leaving the rear end of his Moustache in a terrible state, with lubricant leaking everywhere out of his rear. Though he was shaken by the violent encounter, Brand was unhurt, and climbed out of the expensive sports car via the passenger side. Gardener was insured, and the damage will be fixed.

"My arse was sore," said Brand afterwards. "I've never been shunted so violently before, it was quite a shock."

Gardener, who has rammed into the back end of several drivers in the past now has a celebrity rear to add to his collection.

"I've never gone into the back of anybody quite so famous before," said Gardener. "Well, I did have sex with George Michael, but that is supposed to be hush hush."

Katy Perry, whose car it was, is said to be livid with Gardener, but glad that she still has a husband.

"It's normally Russell who shunts me up the rear," she said.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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