TRENTON, New Jersey - The Governor of The Garden State has once again asked the producers of The Jersey Shore reality show to please leave his state immediately.
Governor Chris Christie said that the group has become an embarrassment to the honest, hard-working citizens of his state. He paused and then stated, "And especially that little 4 foot 8 inch munchkin Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi, who is running around like she's the orange-colored version of Paris Hilton."
He added that he can no longer just sit idly by and tolerate the law breaking antics, immature behavior, and ridiculous tanning of this group of young, spoiled, immature Italian youths.
Governor Christie said that just within the past 48 hours he has received three different petitions asking him to use the New Jersey State Police to escort the cast, crew, and New York catering service of the Jersey Shore reality show to the New Jersey-New York state line.
One of the petitions included 98,431 names and was from a group calling itself The Concerned Law Abiding New Jersey Citizens With Italian Roots.
Another group which calls itself The New Italy Chapter of The Friends of The Boot Country turned in a petition with 51,843 signatures.
And a third petition that was gathered up by The Goombas (Friends) of New Jersey's Syndicate Boss Genzano Pianissimo, included 9,390 names, but like a Lieutenant working for Mr. Genzano Pianissimo said, "Ah, one name ona Pianissimo petition isa wortha 100 names on any other petition believe me."
SIDENOTE: Genzano Pianissimo has suggested to the governor that if the cast and crew of The Jersey Shore do not leave and leave soon that what he would do is to simply shut off the electricity to The Jersey Shore's production sets. Genny, as Mr. Pianissimo is called by his closest family members, including his 99-year-old grandmother Roberta "The Ravioli Woman" Pianissimo, said that, that will take care of the problem. No electricity, no filming, no tanning, no more Jersey Shore in Jersey.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: And as they say in Little Pepperoni, the Italian neighborhood in Corpus Christi, Texas, "Arriverderci y'all."]