It didn't take long to get a reaction from Simon Cowell after news broke that Jennifer Lopez (J-Lo) is going to take Ellen Degeneres' and/or Kara DioGuardi's spot on American Idol next season. "I want back in," was Cowell's response. "I've been in love with her, err work, for years," he exclaimed.
Not so fast, Simon. The money the show is going to save on his ginormous salary demands is going into making some much-needed changes to the bland American Idol stage. Producers say that compared to America's Got Talent, American Idol's stage looks like it belongs to a small-town theatre company.
Simon is claiming that he was duped into leaving. Nigel Thythgoe, Simon's nemesis since the beginning of Idol years ago, is said to have pulled a fast one on Simon by making him think that the female judge on the show was going to be Madonna, someone Cowell really has a dislike for.
"He told me I was going to be sitting next to 'Madge' next season and that's when I quit. Hell, Nigel wasn't even with the show; I should have known it was a trick," said Cowell.
Although no replacement for Cowell is official, Steven Tyler is at the top of the list; however, Cowell has indicated that he will take a $100M pay cut to do another season of American Idol if J-Lo is definitely in and if she can sit as close to him as Kara DioGuardi did this past season. Said Cowell, "I'd be on my best behavior, honest Nigel."
Ellen Degeneres, after hearing the news about J-Lo was also begging to come back. "I love J-Lo too," claims Degeneres. "I think we could make this work. I'm pretty sure J-Lo doesn't have anything against lesbians."
Randy Jackson, odd man out, is just happy to still have a steady paycheck and doesn't care who the hell climbs aboard the Idol train as long as he keeps his seat. "If they start talking a clean sweep," said Jackson, "I may just have to play the race card."