Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 2 August 2010

image for American Idol's Ryan Seacrest Wants His Girlfriend Julianne Hough To Take Kara DioGuardi's Place
Hollywood hair stylist Fufi Fondue (R) who does the hair of Lindsay Lohan, Scarlett Johansson, Michelle Obama, and others.

HOLLYWOOD - Ryan Seacrest was sitting in his dressing room at the American Idol studios talking to his hairdresser FuFi Fondue about all of the changes taking place on this seasons American Idol.

Fufi, who is one of the most sought after hair stylists in Hollywood, asked Ryan if it was true that Rush Limbaugh was going to replace Simon Cowell.

Ryan replied no way and asked him where in the world he had heard that weird ass rumor. Fufi asked Seacrest not to cuss.

Seacrest agreed. Fufi then told him that he had heard it from Louisiana standup comedian Zydeco Dupree.

Ryan said that it was not true and that it looked like Aerosmith's Steven Tyler was going to replace Simon (Cowell).

Fondue then asked him if it was true that Ellen (DeGeneres) was going to be replaced by Condoleezza Rice, the former secretary of state under George Bush.

Ryan said hell no and again asked him where he had heard such an effed up rumor. Fufi asked Ryan to stop cussing.

Seacrest agreed and was told that Fufi had heard it from Zydeco Dupree. Ryan asked Fufi where this Zydeco Dupree performs. Fondue said that he performs nightly in West Hollywood at The Third Base Comedy Club.

Ryan told Fondue that he was going to go see Mr. Dupree at the club and tell him to stop filling Fufi up with all of these outlandish messed up rumors.

Fufi then asked Ryan if it was true that he (Ryan) wanted American Idol to replace Kara DioGuardi with his girlfriend, the stunningly gorgeous Julianne Hough.

Ryan blushed. He asked, Zydeco Dupree? And Fondue replied, "No, Jay Leno."

Seacrest stood up and said "Okay, that's it. I am going to buy The Third Base Comedy Club and turn it into a warehouse.

And I am going to call Leno and tell him that I will never again appear on his damn program and that I will appear on Letterman's program and I will badmouth the Tonight Show every damm chance I get."

SIDENOTE: Ryan Seacrest did admit off the record that he has met with American Idol Producer Simon Shindlebocker about the possibility of having his girlfriend Julianne Hough take Kara DioGuardi's place on the judges panel. Ryan pointed out that it would be great because the two could ride together, share the same dressing room, and both even promised that they would never make fun of Steven (Tyler's) humongous Angelina Jolie-Mick Jagger-Lisa Rinna looking lips.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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