Written by Skoob1999
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Friday, 30 July 2010

image for John Stape DID Kill Colin Fishwick - World Exclusive
The Bloody Cobblestones Of Corrie This Morning During A Break In The Rain.

At first glance, Colin Fishwick appeared to have simply collapsed as a result of delayed reaction following a beating he received at the hands of the bloke whose Missus he had been tonking.

Video evidence clearly shows that Stape was not within touching distance of Colin Fishwick, when the latter's eyes rolled comically around in his head and he dropped dead.

But experts suggest that something far more sinister was afoot; experts like Jarbo The Killer, who spoke to us from the bar at The Dog And Partridge, a stone's throw away from Manchester United's Old Trafford stadium, and a couple of miles away from where the alleged incident took place.

Jarbo was convinced that Stape had committed murder, using an ancient kung-fu master's technique, little known in the West, but referred to by those in the know as 'The Death Stare.'

"It's right is that," Jarbo told us. "I had a mate from Urmston who studied all that sort of thing. Dave his name was - a big Bruce Lee fan. Had all the posters on his bedroom wall like. He's a legend now, down Canal Street."

It seems that 'The Death Stare' is an advanced kung-fu move only practiced by masters, involving a concentrated stare, focusing the Chi, or life force, into a concentrated energy beam. A bit like a laser beam, or Superman's heat ray vision, or something.

Anyway, it heats up the victim's eyeballs, travels up through the optic nerve to the brain, and microwaves it, resulting in almost instantaneous death.

"That's why he had to get rid of the body, see?" Jarbo explained. "If he'd have ended up in court, and there'd been a kung-fu master on the jury, they'd have rumbled him right off. Trust me. Stape killed Colin Fishwick with 'The Kung-Fu Death Stare.' Heaven knows what Fizz'll say when she finds out."

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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