Maria Perez, the new Ms. Whoopee of the World, is supposed to be making a good will tour of the United States before going overseas to see other countries and promote sex as a happy way of life and a variety of sex to help keep marriages from falling apart and the families with it.
"Sex is a wonderful gift and we should not abuse it or it will burn itself out and tear people apart instead of keeping them together", Maria Perez told reporters after winning the award two weeks ago in Las Vegas!
However, the Tiger was on the prowl as someone whispered last week to one of our reporters.
"He dropped a hint at Saint Andrews where the British Open was being played by wearing a scarlet jacket", stated one who stalks the Tiger for news stories, Howard Nutsburg of The Plain Sight. "On one close-up he stated that Tiger noticed the camera, stopped his approach, and mouthed "Mzzzz Whooooppeee!"
Also, on the Tiger's hunt even more than Ms. Whoopee is Ms. Heather Mills!
Why would Tiger Woods be after Heather Mills?
Here's a hint: Heather Mills won a tremendous amount of money from Sir Paul McCartney. Just last week, a settlement of Tiger's Ex, Elin Nordegren, was for over $600 million dollars.
But will the Tiger seek the meat or the bread. We predict it will be Ms Heather Mills. After all, Tiger is down to selling water beds on late TV commercials.