Written by Skoob1999
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Friday, 30 July 2010

image for Cheryl Cole Edible? - Is Katy Perry A Cannibal?
How Flambe Of Cheryl Cole Might Have Looked

It seems that these days, Katy Perry, fiancee of Russell Brand, just doesn't want to talk about herself any more, as she'd much rather discuss her lesbianese crush on Cheryl Cole, or Cheryl Tweedy as she prefers to be known these days.

Perry's gushing platitudes were topped recently by a statement in which she described Cheryl as 'edible' - which is fine if she means 'yummy', as in she'd like to lick her all over or something, but which would have far more sinister implications if she actually means that she'd like to cut Cheryl up and sautee her meaty parts with some shallots and a clove of garlic.

Skoob Entertainment News, a little perturbed by the potential implications of the statement, emailed the contents of the transcript to our old friend, Special Investigator Albert Fish, at the FBI's elite Psycho Sciences Unit at Quantico, asking for an opinion.

It appears that on the face of it, Katy Perry doesn't intend to dismember Cheryl Cole with a view to a big fry-up and that she is merely exaggerating her feelings in order to demonstrate the depth of her affection and esteem for Cheryl Cole.

"Unless of course," Agent Fish added. "Katy Perry has a freezer stashed away somewhere full of human body parts, A human head in her fridge, and a torso simmering gently in a big stew pot on a gas cooker. In which case we may have to take her remark a little more seriously."

Katy Perry has no established record of indulging in cannibalistic rituals, and Russell Brand was unavailable for comment as he's away somewhere shooting another movie.

Cheryl Cole is said to be on the mend following her recent bout of malaria.

More as we get it.

Make Skoob1999's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 5 multiplied by 3?

8 16 15 12
61 readers are online right now!

Go to top