Written by Stevey G.
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Topics: Gay, Gok Wan

Friday, 30 July 2010

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Gok Wan pretended to be gay to satisfy breast fetish

Camp presenter of Channel 4 programmes, 'How to Look Good Naked' and 'Gok's Fashion Fix', has confessed today that he is not, and has never been, 'Gay'.

'It was all an act', he admitted in an interview on GMTV this morning, with fellow 'non-gay' Ben Shepherd.

Gok, born Ko-hen Wan (translated 'straight-one'), of Chinese/English descent, told Shepherd of his early life, when his weight ballooned to over 21 stone.

'I was 21 years old, and weighed over 21 stone', he said 'and unsurprisingly girls were just not interested. I soon discovered that if I 'camped it up' and pretended to be gay, then suddenly they all wanted to be my new best friend'.

He continued, 'By pretending to be a fashion guru, I even managed to get a few to take their kit off.'

But even Gok was shocked when Channel 4 gave him the opportunity to make a living from his perversions.

'Literally unbelievable!', he exclaimed, 'I was being paid good money to get women to strip naked on TV and grope their bangers. It just doesn't get any better than that!'

However, all good things must come to an end.'I knew I had to stop sometime', he said, 'I'd like to meet someone, settle down and have kids. That's not going to happen if every woman on the planet thinks I'm gay'.

Following these startling revelations, Channel 4 have reportedly been inundated by distraught women who have bared their 'bangers' for Gok, but today Channel 4 executives were refusing to comment.

Gok was upbeat about his future TV career.

'I think I'll be doing a chat-show for Channel 4', he said, 'Graham Norton's old spot seems to be available.'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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