Popular recording artist Lady Gaga, voted 'Most Respected Artist of The Decade' by AutoTune Afficionado magazine, is suing some of the biggest names in music, but for good reason.
They are stealing Gaga's records.
The suit filed in Federal Court today cites two records -- Madonna's "La Isla Bonita" and the Ace of Base track "Don't Turn Around"-- calling them "derivative at best and, more accurately, carbon copies of 'Alejandro', in terms of style, sound, and vapidity of lyrics."
Lady Gaga commented on the suit: "They rerecorded 'Alejandro' and called it 'Don't Turn Around.' And Madonna stole parts of it for 'La Isla Bonita'."
"I'm so glad there are a few different interpretations of my song, that was the idea," rambled Gaga. "Once you kill a cow, you gotta make a burger. The use of my song by heroes of mine is a compliment of the highest order, but it's about my struggles. Trust is like a mirror. You can fix it if it's broke, but you can always see the crack in that mother... (EDITORS NOTE: This answer went on for ten f--king minutes, and Gaga didn't say a damned thing that made sense. Let's fast forward to --) ...from Polaroid and Virgin Mobile, as long as they pay me! Like Madonna and Ace of Base: The bitches need to pay me."
Lawyers for Madonna and Ace Of Base have made preliminary arguments in their defense, regarding some bullsh-t time-line mumbo-jumbo that they will rely on heavily at trial:
"Jesus Christ, does everyone have Gaga-Blinders on?" asked an attorney for Ace of Base, who clearly doesn't love Gaga as much as he should. "Tina Turner recorded 'Don't Turn Around' in 1985, Lady Gaga was born in 1986. What did she do, write it on her mother's uterus?"
Lady Gaga responded: "Well, we need to sue Tina Turner as well."