WEST HOLLYWOOD - Oprah Winfrey has confirmed the rumors that Heidi Montag, aka The Plastic Queen and Betty White, aka The Cellulite Countess, will in fact be appearing in the September issue of PlayGuy Mens Magazine.
A spokesperson for PlayGuy, Julius F. Gigglefurst, said that after trying to get the deal worked out for eight months both women were finally convinced to sign the contract.
Gigglefurst said that Ms. White wanted to make sure that only the photographer would be looking at her naked old body. Ms. Montag felt the opposite, she wanted as many people looking at her young sexy body as could possibly fit into the layout room.
Montag also requested that PlayGuy pay for her next three cosmetic surgeries, provide her breasticles with a tune up, and make sure that her G-spot is still where it is supposed to be and has not shifted downward towards her perineum like it did last year.
Gigglefurst pointed out that well known Danish photographer Lem Hagendrup will be taking the nude photographs of Heidi and Betty.
Hagendrup has taken photos of dozens of famous women including Pamela Anderson, Carla Bruni Sarkozy, Carmen Electra, Mrs. Kobe Bryant, and Kathy Griffin (for a Halloween edition).
In the magazine layout Heidi and Betty will appear wearing the same bikini swimsuits, Daisy Duke shorts shorts, and Victoria's Secret string bikini thongs with the theme being before and after.
Heidi was asked by Hagendrup if she minded him taking a photo of her G-spot and Montag replied that she was perfectly fine with that.
When he asked Betty, she replied, "Listen hon, if you can find my G-spot then you can most certainly photograph it and please be sure and show it to me because I have not seen the sucker since the late 60s."
In other news. Joan Rivers who is way older than Betty White wanted to state for the record that the rumors about her giving Donald Trump a hummer are positively not true. Joan paused for a moment and then said, "And to be perfectly honest with you - I have no idea in hell what a hummer is, other than a vehicle."