Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 28 July 2010

image for Zac Efron To Star With Heidi Montag and Gabourey Sidibe In "Big Foot Gets Abducted By Vampire Aliens"
Big Foot at the age of six months and before he grew his all-over body hair. (Photo courtesy of Nancy Pelosi).

LOS ANGELES - Zac Efron has just told Larry King that he will start shooting his new movie Big Foot Gets Abducted By Vampire Aliens in two weeks.

The film which is being co-produced by Vilandro Gorianzanni and Luigi Luigiani will be shot in location up in Elk Cervix, Montana.

Efron said that he is looking forward to working with Gorianzanni who recently directed Ron Jeremy and Holly Sampson in the x-rated motion picture Hole-In-One.

Zac said that Hole-In-One, was just named the best x-rated movie on both sides of the Mississippi River as well as the best x-rated movie of all time in Portugal, Peru, Pakistan, and Botswana.

Efron noted that last month Luigiani traveled to Liverpool, England, where he directed Justin Timberlake and Janet Jackson on the film Wardrobe Malfunction.

The movie was based on the 2004 Super Bowl XXXVIII (38) half time incident in which a sudden gust of wind hit Janet's black leather costume causing the buttons to pop off and exposing Jackson's quite ample left knocker for a total of three seconds or 21 seconds in dog seconds.

Efron pointed out that it will be the first time that he has worked on a film with Heidi Montag and Gabourey Sidibe.

He said that he has already been forewarned about the plastic smell that he will be breathing whenever Montag starts sweating on the set.

Efron grinned and said that he has already figured that if the smell gets too bad he will simply tell Heidi that he will be willing to put up with the pungent smell but only if she lets him take at least a ten minute look at both of her puppies.

His double who happened to be walking by asked if he was going to ask the same of Gabourey Sidibe, who tilts the scales at 603.

Zac raised his eyebrows, started coughing, and ran off to his trailer holding his mouth.

Efron will play the part of Yellowstone National Park Ranger Randy Bloomingtower, who drinks way too much Corona Light Beer.

Montag will play his fiancee Zelda Flo Mackinack, who is infatuated with showing off her boobs to her fiance's ranger buddies. And Sidibe will portray the legendary Big Foot, alias Sasquatch, alias Wynonnacabra.

Zac Efron is 22. Heidi Montag is 23. Gabourey Sidibe is 27. And Wynonna Judd is 46.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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