OAHU, Hawaii - Johnny Depp was in Hawaii filming the fourth installment of his buccaneer series entitled, Pirates of The Caribbean: On Stranger Tides.
And the stranger tides is certainly an apropos name seeing as how the movie takes place in the Caribbean Sea and is actually being shot in the Pacific Ocean.
Depp was asked about this watery logistical faux pas impropriety. He smiled and said that he was told by the film's producer, Gunther Krottentokker, that if they shot the movie in Hawaii instead of in St. Croix, they could save a little over $3 million.
Captain Jack Sparrow, Depp's buccaneer character said, "And that me mateys is a hell of a lot of gold doubloons innit."
Depp said that he was thrilled when he heard that Spanish actress Penelope Cruz was going to be his co-star. He said that he had seen lots and lots of naked photos of her all over the Internet and he really likes the way she looks in her birthday suit.
When Penelope was told about Johnny's remarks she blushed and said, "Eye, eye, eye, dat Shonny dude ease so berry, berry funny. He can make me giggle just by choing me his little pee pee."
Penelope was asked about her nude plank scenes with Johnny. She blushed and said, "I like doing dem. But Shonny he ease sush a clown dat during dee seventh take he almost fell into dee ochun. Luckily for heem I was able to grab heem by his wienie and he did not fall into the cold ochun."
Shonny, I mean, Johnny was asked about Penelope grabbing his member and he asked "My what?"
"Your dick. Johnny, I understand that Penelope grabbed your dick and kept you from falling into the water?"
"What?" Depp yelled out. "Dat's not the way it was. That lying skinny little muchacha. All day she had been asking me to let her play with 'Little Johnny' and I kept telling her to wait until after we had shot all of the scenes. But Penelope being from Spain and all, I guess the senorita just could not wait."
Johnny Depp stated that this fourth installment like the other three will have the obligatory buccaneer gold doubloon chests, sexy mermaids, trained tuna fish, lots and lots of Bloody Mary drinks, dozens of three-point hats, skull and crossbones tattoos, and several overly endowed female pirate tata's.
SIDENOTE: The movie will have its premier in Pittsburgh, home of the National League Baseball Pirates.