Les, a useless no-hoper was amazed to find that a West End musical was being staged in celebration of his life.
?Nobody wrote to tell me they'd done a musical about me' he explained. ?I only found out by chance on a work's trip to London. There was this huge poster advertising my musical.'
?I've always known that I was a bit special but never thought I'd get me name up in lights. Now I'd be able to have puffter mates and say luvvie words like darling, sweetie and absolutely!'
But Les's celebrity aspirations were swiftly ended by his best mate Eddie.
?That's a musical about revolting Parisian peasants, and not revolting Wigan wasters', he noted.
?And anyway, your Miserable Les and not Les Miserables' !