Written by Chuck the Canuck
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Topics: White House, Tall

Friday, 15 April 2005

image for White House Productions To Unveil New Project
Li'l Stinky rides to glory in the old west.

Coming soon to a discount multiplex theater near you. White House Productions is proud to present the thrilling tale of a tall, tough talking, transplanted, Texan's timely thrust to the top. "The Accommodating, The Defective and The Intellectually Challenged".

This panoramic saga of the great American west is set in a time when men were men, women were women, cows were cows and the sheep were faintly uneasy. Follow the rise and fall and then rise again, to be followed by a slight stagger, a minute weave, a tiny wobble, eventual ascension, and then complete collapse of the stoic house of Shrub.

Be prepared to laugh, to cry, to smile, to sob, to snicker, to point mockingly at the screen as we retrace the heart rendering, action packed, gut retching life of G.W. Li'l Stinky Shrub Jr., the semi-literate, slack jawed son of the local sherif Poppy and grandson to the infamous whiskey and gun runner, millionaire oil barron Prescott Shrub.

We defy you to hold back your tears as you witness the young, sad eyed, dim witted G.W. savaged by the Kaiser's rabid dachshund Adolph on the front lawn of grandpa's mansion, while waiting for the father that never came. Your hankies will be in tatters as you behold the savage tongue lashings inflicted upon the young, vacant G.W. by his crazed, leathery, silver haired mother.

Marvel at the easy with which Poppy and the senior Shrub, brow beat, bribe and threaten tribes of toadying sycophants into taking Li'l Stinky under their wings. You will be rolling in the isles with laughter as you behold the uproarious pranks the Stinkster and his new palls get up to. Witness the mercantile mayhem as G.W. tries to corner the gingham market in order to get a date.

Your heart will swell with pride as the brave Johnies march off to war and the heavily perspiring and slightly malodorous Li'l Stinky offers to stay home with his whiskey jug and sack of Peruvian marching powder to guard the women and children. Relive the hard times and enjoy the rapturous salvation of a beaten and fallen man as he is dragged out of the gutter by the short and curlies and is gifted the undying love and devotion of a good woman.

Stand tall with G.W. the recovering dry drunk as he reclaims the family honor and the office of sherif from the crafty sex crazed fiend wicked Willie. Join with the intrepid and slightly confused newly saved G.W. and his brave band of cronies as they hunt down and capture the evil fiend who had sullied Poppy's reputation so many years ago.

Relive the pain and humiliation as the demon spawn of his own fetid loins, the twisted sisters of Satan attempt to party, drink and fornicate their way across the great state of Texas.

Don't miss the cinematic event of the season. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll kiss ten bucks goodbye. Movie not yet rated. Consult local listings for a time and venue near you.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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