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Sunday, 25 July 2010

image for Fattie Oprah offers fellow fattie debt-laden Fergie her own talk show

JESUSLAND: Never let it be said that Oprah doesn't have a big heart. In fact, in a gesture of humongous proportions the once-top-ranked, now in the ratings pile dung-heap talk-show host has offered fellow fattie - the Duchess of Pork - her own talk show.
The Queen of Weep and the Queen of Creep - what a pair!

An Oprah source said: "Oprah called Sarah last week and made this offer. Oprah's tanked in the ratings race; she loves fellow fatties who thrive on dysfunction; Oprah is the queen of self-pity and Sarah Ferguson is unmatched in unbridled greed and stupidity. Altogether a very win-win combination".

Sarah's recently-fired, now unemployed rep said: "Oprah called Sarah; sympathized and made her an offer she could not refuse. Like the blood-sucking ex-Royal she is, Sarah bit"

A chuffed Sarah herself told this reporter (because she will speak to anyone who asks her the time of day): "We are amused... the offer is brilliant...a ray of light at the end of a very impoverished dark tunnel. Can you imagine, no caviar, no Dom Perignon White Gold Jeroboam. I've been reduced to dipping my suckable toe in plain old Bolly".

Producers for the show said: "Oprah has always been impressed by Sarah's ability to pick herself up and reinvent herself. Oprah 'reinvented' herself - much to her own surprise. Americans love phonies and liars who can cry on command. Oprah's audience of over-weight, whingeing, simple-minded, self-absorbed, botoxed, implanted bimbos will love the opportunity to relate to the failure that Sarah is. Look at the other Sarah (Palin) - a classic American success story -from Dimwit Loser to Dumber-than-dumb Millionaire. What a way to go...only in America. Fergie will soon be able to lend money to hem-hem, HM QE 2 herself!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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