Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 25 July 2010

image for The Female Convicts At The Zsz Zsa Gabor Prison For Females Have Named Lindsay Lohan As The Inmate With The Most Luscious Mouth
Lindsay Lohan's cell is the second from the right. (Photo courtesy of Charlie Sheen).

LOS ANGELES - After being incarcerated at L.A.'s Zsa Zsa Gabor Prison For Women for less than a week, the newest prisoner at Zsa Zsa has just been named by her fellow convicts as The Inmate With The Most Luscious Mouth.

Warden Noah Westbunker was asked about this award which Lindsay Lohan, or Lips of Love, as the women prisoners have nicknamed her has received.

He stated that he has no idea about any award that prisoner #362436 has received for having a luscious mouth, a great looking pair of delicious tits, or a fantastically sexy ass.

Westbunker went on to say that he is in charge of running a Los Angeles women's prison and not a Beverly Hills beauty salon.

When he was asked if Miss Lohan is behaving herself he grinned and said that amazingly enough Miss Lohan has become a model prisoner.

The warden stated, "Miss Lohan does what she is told, when she is told, and she does not cry anymore like the damn, cheap Academy Award performance she put on in Judge Marsha Revel's courtroom."

Westbunker wanted to stress that contrary to what The National Enquirer has printed Ms. Lohan is not getting any preferential treatment.

Yes, he did admit that it's true that she has her very own toilet, but that is only because she agreed to pay the extra $95 per day.

She also does not have to share her toothbrush with her cell mate like the other inmates do because she donated $800 to The Warden Noah Westbunker Prison Guards Christmas Dance Fund.

SIDENOTE: Warden Westbunker wanted to put to rest the rumor that one of the meanest, nastiest, hardcore prisoners at Zsa Zsa, Brenda "Stiletto" Santanoochi (#352910) actually took a red Sharpie Pen and connected all the freckles on Lohan's entire body.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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