Written by Skoob1999
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Sunday, 25 July 2010

image for Original Spoof News Manuscript Sells For £1,800 On Dickinson's Real Deal
Showing The Site Of The Missing £1,800 Beer Mat

A writer for renowned satirical website TheSpoof.com this morning flatly refused to believe that the first draft of a story he scribbled on the back of a beer mat with a bog standard biro down the pub, sold for £1,800 on Dickinson's Real Deal - the cheap ITV alternative to The Antiques Roadshow.

The manuscript/beer mat was recovered from a Portsmouth pub by Mrs Pompey Lil, a lady once of ill repute, who found it screwed up in a pub beer garden ashtray. She told us:

"When I seen the name Skoob scribbled on the beer mat, it sort of rang a bell, because I used to have a client named Morse - a pirate captain from the Carolinas he was - who I used to service up back alleys when he was in port. Down The Hard. Lovely bloke he was, a true gent, but he was always complaining of the guts ache, always moaning about this mother-effin cannibal cook, name of Skoob, orf the Buggerall. So when I seen the name, it just all clicked into place."

Pompey Lil elected to chance her arm and take the screwed up beermat to the Dickinson's Real Deal TV antique and curio show which was being filmed on the Isle of Wight, at Ryde.

Dealer Mike Melody offered her 21p for the literary oddity, so Pompey Lil wisely decided to put it up for auction.

To her delight, it raised £1,800 at auction, bought by a long haired lunatic from Liverpool, who preferred to remain anonymous. Pompey Lil was said to be 'chuffed to fuck' with her unexpected windfall.

Spoof writer (?) Skoob1999 refused to believe this story, but vowed to scribble down all future drafts on the back of beer mats and flog them on Dickinson's Real Deal.

Just in case.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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