Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 24 July 2010

image for Miley Cyrus and Taylor Lautner Doing The 'Do' In Detroit
Miley squatting by Lake Erie thinking about how much she misses being Hannah Montana.

DETROIT - The little girl who wants to be a big girl real bad and her new friend Taylor Lautner were reportedly in Detroit, aka MoTown hanging out and letting it all hang out.

Miley who has pole danced, lap danced, and gone knicker-less in the past few months says that she is not trying to act like Britney Spears, Lady Gaga, or even that skank from the other side of the 'pond' Amy Winehouse.

When asked who then is she trying to act like, Miley giggled, took a drink of her Diet Lemon Snapple, and said that she is trying to act like the one and only, the amazing and resplendent Miley Cyrus alias Princess Miley The First.

Lautner was asked to comment on Miley's comment and he said, "Yeah...what she said."

The two were seen enjoying a barbecue plate at one of Detroit's top barbecue diners, Carburetor Carl's Come As You Be Diner.

Miley said that the baby back ribs are the best that she has ever eaten. They were so good that when she accidentally dropped one of the ribs on Taylor's lap she instinctively bent down and licked the sauce.

Lautner, although a little embarrassed, could be seen smiling like the Chicago cat that ate the Cleveland canary.

Several of the dudes who were in the diner went up to him and gave him high fives and a fist bump.

One even asked Miley if she would give him a lap dance. Miley did not appreciate that and she kicked the patron in his groin dangler.

Carl Washington-Franklin, owner of the eatery then threw the out-of-line patron out of his diner.

SIDENOTE: The patron who requested the lap dance, happens to be Carl's second cousin LaBronsell Edison-Jackson. He told a reporter for The Detroit Morning Chassis Chronicle that he did not ask Miley for a lap dance, and that he merely asked her for a lap glance.

Miley and Taylor stayed at Detroit's exotic, erotic, and expensive $817 a day Hotel Bumper-To-Bumper in downtown Detroit.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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