Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 23 July 2010

image for Los Angeles Police Uncover A Plot That Had Lindsay Lohan Being Busted Out of Prison By Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie, and Samantha Ronson
Samantha Ronson practicing the paso doble in her backyard.

LOS ANGELES - The LAPD working on tips from 139 different anonymous informants have reported that they have uncovered a semi-elaborate plot that would have had Lindsay Lohan escaping from The Zsa Zsa Gabor Prison For Women.

The female perps who are all known to the incarcerated self-proclaimed lesbianite Lindsay Lohan, apparently devised the plan while shopping for sexy bras and panties in Beverly Hills at one of the finer women's dress shops on Rodeo Drive.

Paris Hilton was reportedly the mastermind. Her two other accomplices were Nicole Richie and Samantha Ronson. The three had allegedly used the code name The Three Hot Hotties in their quasi-elaborate scheme to spring Miss Lohan.

Warden Westbunker did not want to specifically say how the trio planned to aid Miss Lohan in her escape but he did reveal that the plot involved, rope, two shovels, pruning shears, a tambourine, an egg beater, a bottle of hand sanitizer, a medium-sized can of WD-40, and two trained beavers.

The warden of Zsa Zsa Gabor first gained knowledge of the escape plan when he received an email from famed Internet gay-as-they-come blogger Perez Hilton, no relation to Paris Hilton.

Westbunker said that he was able to trace 137 of the 139 anonymous informant tips and that every single one was either from a friend or from someone who had, had some kind of physical and/or sexual relationship with Miss Lohan.

Warden Westbunker said that he wishes to thank each of the 137 informants and asks that they call his office so that he can mail them each a personal thank you note, suitable for framing, from the hard-working, honest, law-abiding citizens of Los Angeles Country.

In a related story. Samantha Ronson has said that she has never met either Paris Hilton or Nicole Richie much less plotted to break her dear, sweet, much misunderstood ex-girlfriend Lilo Lohan out of jail.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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