Written by Charpa93
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Friday, 23 July 2010

image for Lindsay Lohan Doing Better than Expected in Jail
Typical evening in Lindsay Lohan's cell

While her cell isn't posh by any means, Lindsay Lohan does seem to be faring quite well in jail according to the constant stream of visitors who have been to see her since being locked up. Although the rules clearly state that prisoners are only allowed visitors on the weekends, an exception is being made in Lohan's case.

Law enforcement officials claim that due to Ms. Lohan's delicate state of mind, it is best if she be allowed to serve her time with as little interruption to her normal schedule as possible. That means photo shoots, meetings with her managers and producers of upcoming movies, and, of course, regular visits from off again, on again girlfriend, Sam Ronson.

Because of the hectic schedule being kept by Lohan while incarcerated, prison authorities have decided that a 90-day stay is just not doable for her, so they cut that way back to about two weeks. Said one official, "we think she is getting a good dose of reality here, and it is just unconscionable to make Lindsay do more time than is necessary for her to learn the errors of her ways. Two weeks is about all she really needs to get herself back on track and any more time would just be overkill."

Lindsay's attorneys agree wholeheartedly. In fact, they've asked that the two-week sentence be cut in half so that Lindsay can be home in time to attend a friend's 21st birthday party at the Hollywood club Bardot next weekend. "If all else fails," said her attorney, "and she has to remain in jail for the full two weeks, then we've already motioned the court to allow the party to come to Lindsay and it looks like it might just be a go."

Asked if her jail cell might be a bit small for a party, the attorney said they are looking into renting the prison mess hall to accommodate all the guests.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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