Clearly, Lindsay Lohan must have watched a lot of television reruns in her youth.
Her first day in jail and Lindsay Lohan says that she has been water boarded twice at least, plus she has been boarded, maybe twice.
"They took me into a cage like a caged animal...I should write a poem about that..and they tried to make me talk but I'm not so easily confused", she laughed.
Quickly the guard had her meds checked.
"She was seeing all kinds of things in there. She wanted to talk to Marshall Dillon and stated that Festus Hagen had boarded her twice. Now she's in there counseling."
"With her attorney?"
Oh, her psychiatrist!"
"No, Miss Kitty. She said that if a woman could run a bar by herself she could help her escape. She offered her body in payment."
So, Day One and our gal is doing pretty well, for her. Now a scream.
"It's OK, she thought it was a spider. It was one of her eyelashes and when she hit it, it made it hop."