WEST HOLLYWOOD - Zsa Zsa Gabor, the actress with the redundant first name, received some serious injuries when she fell out of her hospital bed.
The 93-year-old actress, whose last movie was titled, My Life With Teddy Roosevelt - The Zsa Zsa Gabor Story, reportedly was watching TV and flicking the channel back and forth between Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune.
One of her nurses, who asked that we please not mention her name but gave her initials and Q.Z., said that Ms. Gabor slipped on some oat meal and fell off the bed while reaching for a vibrator.
The nurse was asked if Ms. Gabor generally used a vibrator.
Nurse Quintessa Zinfandel, 47, said that Ms. Gabor only uses a vibrator whenever she wants to have sex.
Zinfandel was asked what the extent of Gabor's injuries were. She replied that Ms. Gabor had broken her clavicle, bruised her left tibia, dislocated her right femur, and badly scratched her mons pubis Vesuvius.
Gabor's husband Prince Frederic Von Anhalt, the prince formerly known as Prince Freddy Von A, could not be reached for comment and was believed to be visiting at the home of either Queen Latifah or Larry King.
Long time Zsa Zsa Gabor fan Heidi "The Plastic Woman" Montag heard about Gabor's injury and the fact that she would be needing extensive plastic surgery.
Montag immediately called up the hospital and volunteered to donate some of her plastic.
Heidi Ho, as so many people call her, said that she would be willing to donate at least two pounds of plastic from each knocker.
SIDENOTE: Ms. Gabor's husband Prince Frederic Von Anhalt wanted to make it perfectly clear that his wife's vibrator is just something that she uses as a novelty sex tool because even though he is 101-years-old, he can still get his pecker to pop at least once or twice every six months or so.