The latest word on the streets of fandom is that young Justin Bieber is going to be a dad.
Of course, he has denied that it is true, but a certain young lady from the Nashville area claims that while Justin was on tour there she wound up with her idol and things just happened.
"I knew I should have taken precautions", stated the crying 17-year-old, accompanied by her parents at a news conference.
"This here is our Jeanie Sue and that Bieber boy better come settle his mess before I settle it for him", stated Jeanie Sue's daddy, Clem.
When asked if there was going to be a lawsuit, Clem stated that 'darn-tootin there's going to be one.'
"We're taking him to jail if he don't honor our Jeanie Sue."
When asked about Jeanie Sue taking DNA tests, Clem declared that all his children had taken all their shots as the school marm told them to do.
Finally, it was explained to Clem that it could be proved if the baby belonged to Justin Bieber or not.
"What? I never..you shore?"
"Sure we're shore."
"Well, then I won't bother the young man. He's probably got his hands full performing at the circus. Come on Jeanie Sue."
"You mean I ain't pregnant, Daddy?"