Written by Skoob1999
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Sunday, 18 July 2010

image for Taylor Lautner To Be Bigger Than Robert Pattinson Says Perez Hilton
Hi! My Name's Nancy! And I Get All My Celeb Gossip From Buffty Ginslinger On theSpoof.com

Overrated internet sensation Perez Hilton - who with a mere 10 million daily readers is only marginally more popular than theSpoof.com - has informed the world, that in his opinion, Taylor Lautner will become much bigger than Twilight love rival, Robert Pattinson.

In Hilton's analysis, Lautner will become more popular than Pattinson because he is more selective about possible future movie roles, and is more likely to develop longevity in the thespian world.

Buffty Ginslinger, Skoob News's entertainment correspondent told us that he generally agreed with Hilton's opinion, adding only that he considered both Lautner and Pattinson to be 'utterly crap' actors.

"Mere fluff dear boy," he told us. "Talentless twerps selected solely on their appeal to pre-pubescent girls. My good friend CJ agrees with me. From what he's seen of Lautner and Pattinson, he thinks that they're both twerps as well. Although the word he used was rather more derogatory than 'twerp' - it began with a 'C' and ended with 'TS' and it jolly well wasn't 'carrots.'"

Having endured both Twilight and New Moon, this reporter tends to think that Lautner is gradually phasing Pattinson out of the frame, which isn't really all that surprising, as there can't be many non-vampire roles for a tall, skinny, anaemic looking bloke. And young girls do grow up.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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