Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 16 July 2010

image for Heidi Montag and Amy Winehouse To Star In "The Naked Vampire Lesbians From Hell"
Heidi Montag relaxing in her Hollywood Hills Kitchen. (NOTE: She was inhaling when the photo was snapped).

LOS ANGELES - The Candlelight Motion Picture Company in association with Left Coast Libido Pictures and G-Spot Productions has just announced that they have signed Heidi Montag and Amy Winehouse to star in The Naked Vampire Lesbians From Hell.

The film will be directed by America's own Oscar winning director Sheboygan Saddlewood, who recently directed Britney Spears, Jessica Simpson, and Madonna in the New England suspense thriller Two Basically Young Blonde Bitches and One Rather Old As The Hills Bitch.

Saddlewood said that although some of the movie will be filmed on the Los Angeles sound stages of The Candlelight Motion Picture Company most of the motion picture will be filmed overseas in Portsmouth, England; Copenhagen, Denmark; and Dubai, India.

The movie is based on the novel by noted Hungarian writer Marchilki Venceslas Zigmund, 74, who also wrote the Pulitzer Prize winning novel, My Wonderful Summer in The Bosomy Bosom of My Older Cousin Zizi.

SIDENOTE: Heidi will appear as Gabriella The Vindictive Vamp of The Vagrant Vagrants and Amy will portray the Big Titted Tica Teka Philandering Bitch of Feminine Feminists. The two meet at a bagel shop and instantly begin a torrid lesbian affair which eventually involves just about every known sex toy known to man at that point in time.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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