Written by Jimbo123
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Friday, 16 July 2010

image for Robotic Michael Jackson not ready for 'Ascension' tour
"Chee-Maoww - bidibidi!"

Greedy record executives have recovered far more of Michael Jackson than they expected. Most of his face was 'non-biodegradable' & 'hand washable' and his brain was 'perfectly preserved' in alcohol and barbituates.

Seperately in Japan, Sony have constructed a bionic head, torso and limbs they say will be 'even better than the real thing'. Dr Suzuki Hayabusa stated - "Jacko ran out of steam in about 1995 but our machine will take the audience straight back to the Motown 25 awards in '83. We've put little rollers in his feet so he'll be able to moonwalk at over 30mph. We've also installed plumbing and facial muscles so he can drink Pepsi and smile. Obviously his robotics will be world class. We're even making a robotic chimp to keep him company."

Last night the world's press decended to the basement laboratory of Dr Bradley von Frankenstein in Germany for a grand 'switching on' ceremony.

Dr B commented - "I've had terrible trouble with this one. I've had to 'reboot' his brain several times - he thought he was God for a couple of years, and you don't want to know some of the other stuff I've had to delete or re-programme."

Richard Drummond of the New York Times set the scene "It was Jacko alright - straight out of his Thriller video. We couldn't wait to hear 'Oooohhh, cheemaoww and your butt is mine'- from Bad".

However when Jacko II finally fizzed into life it was clear there had been a mix-up. Stacey Beurk from the Haemaphrodite Times complained "Rather than groin-grabbing and singing 'Don't stop till you get enough', he moonwalked straight into the kitchen, made himself a deep-fried peanut butter and jelly sandwich and went to the bathroom. Dr B went to help but he just growled "That's alright ma-ma."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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