Written by Charpa93
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Thursday, 15 July 2010

image for Young Male Reporters Refuse to Interview Kate Gosselin
America's Most Ineligible Bachelorette

The word on the street is "horny mom of eight looking for mate." Those words have stricken fear in many a young, fairly good looking single news reporter assigned to do a story on Kate Gosselin lately. Never in the history of media have so many young men flat out refused to go within a state's distance of Kate Gosselin after one of their own made the mistake of being just a little too nice to her.

"I remember standing next to her telling her how great she looks after having eight kids and all. Next thing I know, she's pulling me by the front of my shirt and planting a wet one right on my lips," said Tony Bandana of Channel 8 News in Buffalo, NY where Kate was being interviewed for her upcoming spot on "Buffalo This Morning." "Not only was it inappropriate as hell, but my fiance just happens to be the news manager and she caught the whole thing out of the corner of her eye. I'm still paying for that kiss, which, by the way, wasn't all that great. Note to Kate - more lips, less tongue."

Stories like this are popping up all over the news grapevine of Kate going to great lengths to "sell herself" to single reporters all over America. "What's not to like?" She asks. "I've got a great big house in Pennsylvania, a gorgeous body, beautiful nails, both finger and toe, and I now have a bundle of money. What more does a man want?"

But invariably when she asks this question, someone brings up the fact that she does have 8 small kids and the temper of Medusa, which would scare away even the hardiest of young men these days. Kate's answer? "Oh the kids, yeah, well they can be a problem, but hey, I've got lots of money so I can just pay people to take care of that for me. You'll hardly ever see them if you don't want to. As for the temper rumors, what the hell do you expect? I have eight freakin' kids and I haven't had sex for months now. Lay off, willya?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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