Sales of Nolnt, the new novel from master of horror, Stephen King, have broken all records in Middlesbrough, from where the writer hails, with two copies even having been purchased in nearby Redcar.
The novel, written entirely in Teesside Fonetix, a sub-variant of the local dialect, and understood only by those who live within a 5-mile radius of Acklam Hall, is about a bucket which, as the book's title implies, has a hole in it.
The storyline is a departure for King, who usually writes within such exciting genres as contemporary horror, suspense, science fiction and fantasy fiction, being best-known for novels such as Carrie, Firestarter, Christine and the seven-novel series The Dark Tower which took him 27 years to compile. This, and King is still only 33!
Publishers of the book, Tripe of the North Publications, say that sales have almost doubled since it was mentioned on TheSpoof.com last week, and are expected to reach the 20 mark by Christmas 2012.
One Middlesbrough (mid-lzbr) resident, 193-year-old Annie Twatt (Nytwt to locals), said:
"Stvnkng? Ayu fuckn havn meon y'cnt?"