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Tuesday, 13 July 2010

image for Gordon Brown Heads Intervention Team to Bring Mel Gibson "home" to Scotland!
Gordon Promises Rebirth for Mel in Scotland, and spot on Labour Ticket "next time."

Mild mannered former UK Prime Minister Gordon Brown announced today he would be heading up an intervention to save troubled Follywood Star Mel Gibson from himself after violent rants and bullying activities surfaced on the internet.

"Mr. Gibson has done a lot to promote tourism and Scottish self respect and manliness in his film role in Braveheart...I think it's the least we can do as a non-violent, peace loving articulate nation, to offer asylum without the threat of extradition to a great star who clearly needs our help," said an emotional Mr. Brown in an impromptu speech while recovering at a substance abuse clinic in Glasgow.

Former PM the right honorable Mrs. Iris Robinson, also attending therapy with Gordon for a mild sex addiction, seconded the motion and offered to house Gibson "till he was feeling more like himself."

Gibson, 54, has been all over the news with the release of tapes recorded by his estranged lover and mother of his 8 month child, Oksona Grigorieva, 40, who he allegedly met while on a trip to Russia looking for a wife to replace the mother of his other 8 children.

This is not Gibson's first problem with going Postal, an earlier drunken rant in Hollywood against a police officer who happened to be Jewish, brought out some hidden racial prejudices that followed closely the same rants publicly spoken by Obama confidant THE most Reverend Jesse Jackson and the Obama's 'point man on race', the not so reverent race hustler THE most reverend Al Sharpton in condemning Jews in NYC.

According to insiders, Mel has flipped out feeling his movie career 'is over' and blames Oksona for leaving him after she found out he was now just another dead end movie actor.

Said Gordon, "Mel can find himself over here in Scotland, and start a whole new career. There's a need for someone like him to promote Haggis Westerns in a kilt, just look what Italy did for Clint Eastwood and Spaghetti Westerns! It's never too late to start over...look at me!"

Mr. Brown is said to have been granted a high paying tenured Professorship at University in the Humanity's , and Mrs. Robinson will be soon released to take up her new role as a licensed Life Coach and DIY Home Organizer.

It's a great world, innit?

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