Written by Charpa93
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Monday, 12 July 2010

image for Kate Gosselin Serves Pet Rooster for Dinner
Run, hide, it's that Gosselin lady again and this time she has a cleaver.

This week's installment of Kate Plus Eight entitled "We Named the Pet Rooster Jon" has Kate using every opportunity she can to let her audience know in no uncertain terms that her life is shit because she has the kids and the big house in boring Pennsylvania to take care of 90% of the time while Jon lives a pseudo-swingin' single lifestyle in New York City.

The show starts innocently enough but takes a horrible turn at the end. Thinking it would be fun to get a rooster for the kids' pet hens, Kate soon finds out that she's not the only female who takes all her frustrations out on the man in her life. The hens immediately attack the rooster for everything from sitting in front of the television and watching football all day Sunday, to whistling at the new guinea pea hens one pen over. (Ok so roosters don't watch tv or whistle or even care that much to mate with guinea pea hens, but any reason to conjure up visions of the famous Foghorn Leghorn going after Miss Prissy is journalistic genius in my book.)

Anyway, the episode aired Sunday gave all the Khaters and Klovers (Kate Haters and Kate Lovers for the uninitiated) much to discuss around the water cooler Monday morning. "I don't care what you say, Kate is justified in killing that rooster and serving him for dinner. He reminded her too much of Jon and the hurt he caused," said one.

"Oh for Pete's sake, gimme a break," chimed in another. "Kate will use any excuse to bash Jon and the rooster was a metaphor anyways; it wasn't really going to survive another episode."

And another had this to say, "Well I think killing that rooster was a bad idea and sends entirely the wrong message to the kids who had to stand there and help pluck the poor thing's feathers and watch it being cut into McNugget-sized pieces."

The show's producers are said to be having some serious issues with Kate this season and are considering removing her from the show. "If all goes according to plan, next season we're gonna whittle it down further to just Eight. With all the life lessons these kids have gotten in the short time they've been on this planet between their ditzy dad and their insane mom, they can handle doing the show just fine on their own."

Make Charpa93's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 1 multiplied by 2?

4 2 1 23
88 readers are online right now!

Go to top