Self-absorbed pop star Britney Spears and her "new husband" Kevin Federline, will soon be appearing on a six part reality TV show chronicling the personal love story between Spears and Federline through exclusive, never-before-seen private home videos they shot themselves during their courtship, engagement and wedding.
In Altoona, Pennsylvania Doris Kumquat rejoiced at the news: "What did I do to deserve this? Now I'll have to re-arrange my TV schedule so I don't miss a single episode of Britney Spears and Kevin Federline.
The new reality show will be appearing on UPN. "Britney Spears is a superstar who is very popular with UPN's viewers, making her and Kevin's show in this format a perfect fit for our network's audience and programming sensibilities," said Dawn Ostroff, UPN president. "As we all know, Britney and Kevin's life together has been played out in front of the public through Internet speculation, the gossip columnists and entertainment magazines, but now, for the first time, their millions of fans will get to see and hear the couple's real story on UPN as told directly by them."
In Boise, Idaho potato farmer Richard Russet asked, "What in the world has Dawn Ostroff been smoking?"
Of course Britney Spears can't stop talking about her new reality TV series. "I am so excited about the series," said Spears. "From the day that Kevin and I met, there have been constant rumors and inaccurate speculation about our lives together. I feel that last year the tabloids ran my life and I am really excited about showing my fans what really happened rather than all the stories, which have been misconstrued by journalists in the past. As I mentioned before on my website, I am now going to be expressing my personal life through art. This series will show us falling in love and all the adventures that went on overseas during the European leg of my Onyx Hotel tour. It's going to be an exciting ride."
Yes Britney Spears, the whole world is anxious to finally hear the whole story of your love life. For too long we've suffered the anxiety of not knowing your true feelings and emotions. Please be sure not to miss a single detail. We hope you will include tapes of your lovemaking with your "new husband" Kevin. We want to see all of the close-up details. We hope it will last more than six episodes.