Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Topics: Teens, Parents

Wednesday, 6 April 2005

After the release of their debut album Middle of Nowhere in 1997 Hanson had the world in their hands. They had the almost unique ability of being liked by young teens, whilst at the same time being approved of by parents worldwide. Their unique blend of angelic voices and badly played instruments was accepted by the masses. Catchy tunes like Mmm Bop bought them fame and fortune. But was it all worth it? In their first public appearance since the band split Hanson talks about the old days and answer a few of those questions.

"Of course it was worth it!" Taylor tells me, "I mean we were young back then, we partied hard and enjoyed every second of it" Zac speaks next, a survivor of throat cancer when he was in his 40's he uses an external voice box to speak "Of course it was very hard when Isaac was on his downward spiral, the drugs, drink and late nights in strip clubs and taken a toll on us all but it hit Isaac the worst." Isaac who has been sitting quietly speaks up at this point "I didn't care about anything except the drugs, it was as if nothing else existed to me" Isaac spent most of his 30's in rehab to get over his recurring drug problems and of course who can forget the shock death of Sir Cliff Richard at one of Isaac's wild three day parties. Sir Cliff was going door to door spreading the word of God when he was dragged in to the party and forced to inject an entire heron in to his veins. "My mind was all muddled from the drugs." Says Isaac "I went out to score but found myself at a bird sanctuary. I thought the sign said heroin so I helped myself." "Of course it had its ups as well as its downs" Reminds Zac. "We got to spend so much time with Michael Jackson, he was such a loving caring man" "Yes and he gave us wine" Pipes up Taylor. At this point I ask about the war. All three were drafted in to the US Army during World War V "We don't like to talk about it" Explains Taylor. "If you ever had to kill a man with your own shoelaces because you were out of ammo you would understand." I decided to lighten the mood and ask about their decision to retire. "Well we just felt things had run their course" Says Zac "We were all in our 60's and had been at it for over 45 years." "And of course Taylor had lost his left leg in a fight with his neighbours cat" Isaac points out. I ask about any possible chance of a comeback tour "Well I'm 86 now" points out Taylor "Isaac's 89 and Zac's just turned 84 so I doubt it. We are just going to spend out final years reflecting on the good times we've had"

This draws the interview to a natural close. I tell the guys that its been great to finally meet the legends my parents used to tell me of when I was a child. As I leave Taylor thanks me and Isaac seems to drift off to sleep. So there you have it. Despite the drink, drugs, suspicious deaths and scandal that has followed them for years the "boys" from Hanson are still together and closer than ever.

Make Phillie Joe Marshall's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 3 plus 1?

7 14 20 4

Go to top