MALIBU BEACH, California - A member of the Malibu Beach Police Department interviewed alleged Australian woman beater Mel Gibson about his alleged beatings of his girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva.
Ms. Grigorieva, who managed to get herself pregnant with the dumb ass Aussie's baby, says that Melly, as he calls him while in their lovemaking sessions, is a very, very temperamental fella.
She pointed out that she has seen him explode simply because she used Sweet 'N Low in his tea instead of Equal.
Oksana, who is 39, also stated that anytime he makes a joke she has to laugh out loud otherwise he will get offended and kick her in her shins.
She confessed that half of his jokes are about as funny as three-day old kangaroo shit.
Grigorieva went on to inform the member of the MBPD that Gibson has made racist remarks to her about Jews; blacks; Hispanics; Chinese; Seminoles; old women; fat women; wrinkled women, and old, fat, wrinkled women.
She said that the only group of people that he has never made a racist remark about are the citizens of the island of Fiji, Green Bay Packer fans, and the stars of the TV show The Vampire Dairies.
Oksana, said that in Gibson's latest outburst he somehow managed to swing her around so fast that her left kneecap somehow managed to end up on her right knee and her right kneecap somehow managed to end up on her left knee.
The Malibu Beach Emergency Clinic doctor who treated Oksana for this knee injury said that in his 37 years of practice he had never seen such an unbelievable injury.
He added that he had once seen a woman who had managed to get her left tit lodged in her right ear, but he had never seen anyone whose kneecaps had exchanged knees.
In a related story. California authorities are seriously considering deporting Mel "The Piece of Koala Bear Shit" Gibson back to Australia, where he can go and pick on some of the tough, rugged Aussie men, who will no doubt turn him into a wrinkled version of Clay Aiken in roughly 45 bloomin' seconds.