Written by Skoob1999
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Topics: The Spoof, Bonkettes

Friday, 9 July 2010

image for The Bonkettes To Reunite
The Bonkettes In Port Elizabeth SA This Morning Evading Great white Sharks

Sensational news just in! The world's favourite girl band, the Bonkettes have announced that they are to reunite for a series of live gigs after contractual wrangles, and their being relegated to Magazine Section status following their triumphant Christmas gig at the MEN in Manchester.

It's thought that the decision was arrived at after manager BT Bishop received an extravagant tax demand, which he could in no way fulfill.

The Bonkettes, who split mid way through a triumphant world tour (apart from North Korea, where Kim Jong Il wasn't overly impressed) due to being media downgraded, have unanimously decided to back BT Bishop

Lead vocalist, BJ Swallow, told our showbiz reporter, Buffty Ginslinger:

"We're all behind BT - apart from when he's behind us. You have to kind of watch it in that circumstance. But he made us, so we've decided to get back together to raise funds to pay his tax bill. Fucking lovely bloke he is,"

Drummer, Fanny Tickler, told Buffty:

"Yeah, it's good to get back on the horse. There's talk of us doing the World Cup Final already. We don't mind being bombarded with soiled underpants on stage, but we're not keen on them vuvuzela things. Fucking nuisance they are."

Manager BT Bishop told Buffty that it was true that he needed the money, as he had spent most of his earnings on prostitutes and cocaine.

He said that he was honoured that the girls would work so hard on his behalf, and that he was confident about a World Cup final slot for the girls.

He added:

"They'll do the classics - I Wanna Hold Your Glans, Fleas Please Me, Purple Head, Born To Bum, Syphillis Is Painful, and It's Raining Huge Throbbing Cocks.

"It's such an honour. I'm overwhelmed."

Bonkettes lead vocalist BJ Swallow simply added:

"He fucking flatters himself. But a girl's got to do what a man frequently can't manage."

We can't wait.

Morse as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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