Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 9 July 2010

image for Levi Johnston Says The Only Reason He Badmouthed Sarah Palin Was Because His Ex-Girlfriend Kathy "The Red Cougar" Griffin Made Him
Kathy aka "The Red Cougar" Griffin asked Levi To lie about Sarah Palin.

WASILLA, Alaska - Levi Johnston, the ex-future son-in-law of the ex-governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin has revealed that the only reason he spoke so badly about Mrs. Palin was because his former 'old' girlfriend Kathy Griffin told him to do so.

Johnston, who is 20, appeared in a Playgirl Magazine layout wearing only a hockey headband said that Griffin can be one extremely mean, domineering bitch.

He said that one time while they stopped off at a McDonald's he told the drive thru attendant that he wanted to upsize his drink and Griffin told him that he could not.

When he asked her why, she replied, "Because I effen said so. I am the 'red cougar' and I will boss you around just like Brobama bosses around Joey, Hillary, and Nancy."

Levi also admitted that that Kathy even chose what kind of condom he would wear and even picked out their sexual position, which he said was usually with her on top running the show.

He said that Griffin who at 49, is old enough to be his mother demanded that he badmouth Sarah Palin. Levi said that Kathy told him that she hates GOPers, and especially split tail GOPers.

SIDENOTE: Levi did confess that the red cougar is not as good in bed as she thinks she is. For one thing, he said that her labia minora is actually bigger than her labia majora which makes her whole bikini burger look like an unsliced brisket.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Abel, amigo, I was in the middle of eating a salami and cheese sandwich for goodness sakes!]

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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