Dateline, Beverly Hills Court, California - Lindsay Lohan's vagina, (the worlds only known talking vagina) was sentenced to 90 days incarceration at a Beverly Hill Courtroom by Judge Marsha Revel. Revel gave Lindsay and her talking vagina duel sentences 30 days each for violating probation stemming from 2 DUI convictions and a reckless driving violation.
On all three occasions when officers questioned Lohan about her unusual behavior, she refused to elaborate, only mumbling, "my vagina told me to do it" further questioning prompted Lohan to add, "talk to the vagina". When the officers directed their questioning to Lindsay's crotch area, all they could make out was a muffled, "I wanna talk to my lawyer", Lindsay was wearing skin tight trousers a opposed to her usual, flash some gash, shorty dresses, the police were amazed and amused to discover that it seemed, yes, she has a talking peekachoo.
In most cases people that have reported having talking privates were considered insane or at best questionable.
Paparazzi and news media types are concerned that taking Lindsay's peekaboo off the market could have long and far reaching economical implications. It is estimated that Lindsay's privates generate over 200 million dollars a day internationally. Some governments have based their entire economies on Lindsay, flashing her vagina, shots. Entire nations may crumble and empires may fall because of this situation.
Some entertainment representatives are estimating that Lindsay's talking vagina, could reach the pinnacles of the industry, if it can sing well. Morey Swell, a well known celebrity agent said, "who knows the sky is the limit if she can hold a tune. Chelsie Handler's vagina is opening in Vegas next month, in a one vagina show, called, Lips the Inside Story". Chelsie's kerslopus tap dances and can tango. Only time will tell if a vagina can hold an audiences attention for an entire two hour set.
From the desk of
Buck E Filbert
Sunset and Vine, Hollywood
"Smart women love smart men more than smart men love smart women."
Natalie Portman / Thinker and Actress