Written by Sirena Reynolds
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Topics: Internet, Prince

Tuesday, 6 July 2010

image for "The Internet is over" Says Prince, as millions read about it online
"I've lost weight over the internet & everything" Prince at a charity gala in Mayfair last night.

Pop superstar Prince has vowed to keep his music offline, publicly announcing "the internet is over". Prince has been quoted as saying "They just fill up your head with numbers, it can't be good for you".

He compared the internet's popularity with MTV in it's heyday.

Millions of online readers share his view. The similarities between an information & entertainment resource and that of a promotional music channel are obvious. Both formats play video whilst simultaneously transmitting sound.

Prince has also announced that he's doing his world tour on horseback stating; "planes are so yesterday look what happened to Concorde, sooner or later people will want things to be slower & less precise".

Although Prince has announced his tour he's failed to secure any dates due to his ongoing battle to prevent numbers filling up his head. Though there is little publicity surrounding Numerosis It's a very debilitating disease. The symptoms include; Occasional headaches, nausea & the potential for academic ability.

He will be giving his album away for free in The Daily Mirror. The hip & cutting edge nature of that deal will see him back at the top where he belongs.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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