Written by schama
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Monday, 5 July 2010

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Thatcher has called Brand's actions "unpatriotic," and called for him to be deported following the allegations.

Well, well, well, Katy Perry will not be pleased. Russel Brand, famed for his sexual activities, has been caught up in allegations (which I've totally fabricated of course) of being seen taking an afternoon nap with Anna Chapman, the Russian recently put in custody following claims that she was a KGB worker/agent.

Brand, 34, and "California Gurls" singer, Katy Perry, have been dating for just shy of six months now amidst incessant rumours of an impending marriage. Perry even gave an exclusive interview with "The MAIL" detailing just how she had tamed the randy funnyman, and this was as recently as last week. Perry boasted that she had lobbed a platic bottle at Brand when the pair first met, and then proceeded to refuse sex until the second date!

The demure popstar, whose single featuring rapper Snoop Dogg currently sits atop of the singles chart, went on to claim that Brand had finally given up on his ways which she described as akin to a "professional prostitute."

Chapman, son of a KGB diplomat, and almost certainly now a Russian spy, has been living undercover for years. Indeed, it is said that it is while undercover that the Soviet pulled Brand. The agent, once married too, has had her activity thrust into the limelight like never before and it is now suggested that she "used brief encounters to hone her seduction skills" which she would later use to gain secrets from high-end British diplomats.

British politicians have been scathing in their assessments of Brand, too. Ex PM, Margaret Thatcher has labelled Brand "unpatriotic," while Foreign Affairs Minister, William Hague has come out against Brand. "It is a shameful incident," Hague bellowed.

What this will do to Russel's wedding with Perry though, could be the major talking point here. Perry, in the same "Daily MAIL" interview added that she is a "strong woman," and she is unlikely to be impressed with her hubby. Insiders in the Perry camp have come out fiercely in their woman's favour branding Brand (pun intended!) "a cheat."

Chapman has declined to comment while Max Cash, PR guru, and publicist for Russel Brand, called the allegations "unfounded."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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