Lady Gaga has stunned her fans this morning with the news that she will tour later this year with Britain's Got Talent chump Susan Boyle on a Europe-wide schedule that will take in all of the continent's major capitals.
The tour, provisionally named the Sex On A Stick Tour, will take in 85 dates including London, Paris, Barcelona, Madrid, Munich, Hamburg's Reeperbahn, Rotterdam and Moscow, where Boyle has legions of worshippers.
Fans of both stars have expressed their surprise at the collaboration, reasoning that the difference in musical styles does not lend itself to what they call, "a harmonious relationship".
But Simon Cowell, who is chiefly responsible for the emergence of Boyle onto the world stage, said:
"They are both female underneath, even if only one of them looks like a woman."