Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 4 July 2010

image for Kim Kardashian Says She'll Bring Good Luck To The Dallas Cowboys By Dating Star Receiver Miles Austin
Jessica Simpson wearing a red, white, and blue blouse that Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones says brought his team bad luck.

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Kim Kardashian was relaxing out by her pool when she was asked by her sister Khloe if she thinks that people will say she is going to jinx the Dallas Cowboys because she is dating Miles Austin.

Kim immediately said that she does not think so. She said that although it is true that Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo did dump girlfriend Jessica Simpson due to pressure from Cowboys owner Jerry Jones to do so that, that will not be the case with her and Miles.

Kardashian said that Simpson went around bragging to everyone that she was dating Tony Romo and that because of that fact that he was going to play a lot better than if he was dating say plain simple Martha Lil Mucklebuck of Wichita Falls.

Jessica also claimed that all of the other Cowboy players would look at her as if they wanted to literally eat her. She smiled and said that she knows for a fact that three of the players even anonymously offered her $700, $900, and $2,000 to go to bed with them.

Kim said that she will conduct herself like the perfect West Coast lady that she is. She then pointed out that sister Khloe married Los Angeles Lakers Lamar Odom, and the Lakers won the NBA championship.

Kimmy, as Miles calls her when they are in bed, said that the Dallas Cowboys are due to take a trip to Super Bowl and to walk away as the Super Bowl Champions.

When Jessica Simpson was told about Kim Kardashian's remarks the blonde singer merely rolled her eyes and stated, "The Kimster has got herself one big old fat ass."

When Kim was told of Jessica Simpson's remarks she replied, "Well tell Jess the Mess dat at least my big old fat ass ain't got no cellulite, stretch marks, or pimples on it like her big old semi-fat ass does."

Simpson then said that sticks and stones may break her bones but words will never hurt her.

Kardashian replied that she would be putting a couple of sticks and stones in the truck of her BMW and the next time that she sees that Jessica bitch she will hit her with her sticks and stones.

In other news. Former President Bill Clinton was asked what he thought about the fact that his little girl Chelsea was getting married. He grinned, snapped his fingers and said, "Let me say on the record that I never once believed those damn rumors about my little Chelsea being so homely she would never find a man. Well she ain't, she did, and those mother effen critics were all wrong, wrong as the freakin' rumors about me and that bitch Monica what's her name."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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