Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 4 July 2010

image for Susan Boyle Says That Women Who Pose Naked Are Bloomingly Disgusting
A copy of Sandra Bullock's lips that were taken from the lips of Scarlett Johansson.

PARIS - Susan Boyle was in Paris on a shopping spree. She said that she had come to Paris to purchase some French knickers that she had been wanting ever since she was a wee lass of 7.

Boyle said that she finally has the money to purchase the little buggers although, now in her case, they will actually be big buggers.

She was asked what she thinks about all of these women such as Cheryl Cole, Britney Spears, and Paris Hilton posing in the nude for all the world to see.

SuBo shook her head and replied, "I teenk dat it is downright disgoosting me does. Why do dees women teenk that anyone would want ta see their fillets of tuna?

When told that a lot of men like to view a woman's pink palace she laughed and said that she finds it simply amazing and added that even she would not like to even view her own vagina.

SuBo was told that Sandra Bullock was asked which woman she would like to kiss on the lips next since she now has Meryl Streep and Scarlett Johansson on her list.

Bullock immediately answered that she would like to put a good old-fashioned lip lock on that Scottish songstress Susan Boyle.

Boyle blushed. She smiled from ear to ear and announced, "Well lemmy say fa da record, dat I isn't no lesbianite, but I would absolutely welcome 'avin' Ms. Bullock kiss me on me mouth and show me what a real kiss is."

SuBo was told that Ms. Bullock would be contacted and informed of her statement. Susan was so excited about the idea that she stated, "And tell da little lass from Texas, that Miss Boyle says she will write her a check for whatever amount she wants."

In other news. Ashley Cole has reportedly stated that he is willing to take Cheryl back no questions asked. Cheryl could not comment due to the fact that she could not stop laughing.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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