Written by Stevey G.
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Sunday, 4 July 2010

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'I was a genuine Scottish Spy' insists Sean Connery

An original draft of Sean Connery's autobiography, 'Being a Scot' has disclosed startling revelations which were omitted from the final published version which was released to the public in 2008.

The manuscript, which was inexplicably left in a coffee shop in Edinburgh, claims that Connery was recruited into McI5 (The Scottish equivalent of MI5) in 1963, just before he was due to begin filming 'From Russia With Love'.

This was the height of the Cold War and less than a year after the Cuban Missile Crisis. It was hoped that Connery, because of his celebrity status and the fact that he travelled extensively across the globe, would be able to collect valuable, sensitive information and pass these back to his political masters in Scotland.

The document suggests that it was not only the Russians that were of interest to Mc15. Even in the 1960's there were those in Scotland who dreamed of political independence. Connery was instructed to collect information on key English politicians that could be used to undermine the Government in Westminster and thus speed the process to political
independence and a Scottish Government in Edinburgh.

Where possible, Connery was instructed to 'promote and encourage' situations that helped to compromise these key figures. Connery hints at his involvement in the 'Profumo Affair', shortly after his recruitment and also in the disappearance of Lord Lucan in 1974.

When questioned, the Scottish Goverment denied all knowledge of Mc15 and stated that 'Scotland did not have an independent Secret Service'.

Connery, aged 79, confirmed that he was indeed a Scottish Secret Agent, albeit the only one to his knowledge. He explained that he was 'warned of the consequences' of including the material within his autobiography, and at times ' feared for his life'.Connery refused to divulge any further information and so at this point, many questions remain unanswered, the most important one being ' has ageing Connery simply lost the plot?'.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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