Written by The_Editor5000
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Topics: Hilary Duff

Saturday, 2 April 2005

image for Hilary Duff Pregnant!

Thats right. The 17 multitalented actress is pregnant!
Who's the father? That's a question that nobody can seem to answer. Hilary has slept with over 50 guys and 10 of those tested are not the father. "This is very frustrating" said Duff. "I'm really worried I wont find my baby's daddy!" And what do her fans have to say about this? "Some role model she turned out to be" said Mary Ann Jackson, a mother of 2. "My kids really adore her and now she's gone skanky. That Lindsay Loha is better role model she is!" "I used to be her biggest fan" says ten year old Natasha Gregson. "No she's having sex at 17. What is she trying to prove? She defitently lost a fan" Duff says because of this, shes been dropped from her record company and has been kicked out of her Texas home. "it's hard when your parents lose all trust in you" says Duff. "My mother called me a slut and my dad threatened to send me to a reform school. My sister, Haylie wont even help me either! Matter of fact, shes moving out of the house we share and is moving back to Texas. I feel so awful right about now"

Lindsay Lohan, Duff's archnemensis comments "It's really to bad that Hilary had sex with 50 guys. Guess she isnt the goody two shoes everybody though she was, haha!"

Of all the guys Hilary tested, she still hasnt found the father of her baby. "This is so heartbreaking! 50 guys have been tested and none are the daddy! And my parents wont pay the morgage on my house, so now I have to live in a tiny one bedroom apartment in Compton! And the bad part is, Joel wont even help, because he tested negitive! I'm so upset I coould scream!"

"Its a shame to see her like this" says Lohan. "But who gives a damn about her? this just proves that America's Sweetheart is the goddy two shoes parents wanted her to be and now, everybody loves me!"

"I just wanna die" says the depressed Duff. "Maybe my baby would be better off with the Lohans. At least Lindsay can breastfeed it. I have no brests, so I cant do it"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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