Brit comedian Russell Brand, who shot to infamy after laughing about porking the granddaughter of Manuel out of Fawlty Towers on a radio show with Jonathon Ross* today proved to fiancee Katy Perry that he really has turned over a new leaf.
* He laughed about porking the Satanic Slut dancer on the radio show. He didn't pork her on the radio show. And as far as we know he didn't pork Jonathon Ross either. And in any case, all this happened before he started porking Katy Perry. As far as we know.
We can reveal that Brand, with his big hair and his unbuttoned shirts has bought Katy Perry a solid gold vuvuzela trumpet, studded with diamonds. According to sources, Brand was really impressed by the vuvuzelas at the World Cup, and was inspired by the thought of Katy Perry blowing a vuvuzela at the point of orgasm whilst he was slipping her a length doggy style.
But it had to be a solid gold one encrusted with diamonds because Russell is a larger than life celebrity who has porked many a nubile young nymphette - thus far without utilising a solid gold, diamond encrusted vuvuzela.
But Brand reckons that it isn't something that should be overlooked in the course of sexual experimentation. He told us:
"I'm a changed man now. I've had it with all the orgies and getting jizz on me leg - which isn't pleasant. I'd just like to do Katy doggy style and have her toot on the vuvuzela when she gets off. And if there's like, drunks outside on the street, with their own vuvuzelas, they can join in, and me and Katy can pretend we're shagging on the pitch at the World Cup Final. It's brilliant!"
More as we get it.