Written by Stevey G.
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Friday, 2 July 2010

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John Prescott gets into a lather with 'willy-shaped' soap

We have received reports that last night, the former Deputy Prime Minister John Prescott, was rushed to hospital where a block of soap was removed from his rectum.

Early details were vague, the rumour being that Mr. Prescott was involved in some weird Masonic initiation ceremony.

Happily, Mr Prescott has been able to clear up any misconceptions and he has now issued a statement saying simply ' I was in the shower, slipped over and landed on the soap which went up my bum.'

Wife Pauline, who was out of the house at the time of the incident, when questioned seemed initially surprised. 'John doesn't usually take a shower', she said 'and Monday is normally bath-night' she concluded, looking puzzled.

More bizarrely, we have learned that the soap itself was actually an Anne Summers novelty product, in the shape of a penis.

When quizzed further, an embarrassed Mr Prescott (72), confessed that he had received the soap as a present on his birthday last month.

However we have subsequently discovered that not only did Mr Prescott make the purchase himself, he claimed for reimbursement within his Parliamentary expenses, along with
fish-net stockings (size XXL), black patent high-heel shoes (size 11), a leather whip and a set of nipple-clamps, the purpose of which remains unclear at this time.

A hospital spokesman, when asked about the extraction of the soap, commented that Mr Prescott had been lucky that it had been 'soap on a rope' which had meant that the item could be removed without surgery.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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